I've been there. Kind of. So let me empathize and hate your boyfriend for you. He and my ex can go sit in a pile of shit. The important thing is to take some time to get over this, and do NOT let whatever insecurities from this relationship carry over to your next relationship.

My relationship with my ex moved really quickly. We said the L word within a month of dating and were living together within two months. Yeah, it was a stupid decision that came from me being in a bad place mentally, on leave from school, and running away from abusive parents. Every day, he told me he loved me. He would leave cute little surprises for me after work, our sex life was amazing, he would text me stupid little animal and heart emojis. When I left to go back to school about a year into our relationship, we became long distance, and the asshole actually proposed to me the night before I left. I said yes because I didn't want to fight, but it was honestly really surprising to me.

Anyway, ONE month into the long distance thing and he cheats on me. Suddenly, the flip switched. He never loved me, he never thought I was beautiful, I was too fat for him, he only proposed because he didn't want to lose a "sure thing." You cannot imagine the shit those words did to my self esteem. To hear that come from someone you thought you could trust was just awful.

I almost didn't recover from that, but when I did, I let the pain from that experience do amazing things for me. I started studying more and exercising and now I've graduated and have a fantastic job in a city that I love and I'm healthier than ever and actually FEEL beautiful, no matter what anybody thinks.

My current boyfriend (going on 3 years!) is great, but the first year of our relationship was hellish. Every time he told me I was beautiful, I told him to stop it because I didn't believe him. Every time he said he loved me, I just think "really? are you sure? are you lying?"

Anyway. My point is that you will recover and don't let him tarnish your future relationships.