I can't add much value you here other than to tell you that I caught my husband with something similar about two and a half years ago. I never saw proof that he actually did anything with anyone. After a few weeks, I didn't care, either. Truly. After a while, the betrayal I caught him in was proof enough.

I'll jump to the punchline - we are still together.

I kicked him out for a while and then started to doubt myself. I wanted to give the marriage a chance, mostly because I knew if I didn't, that I'd wonder for the rest of my life if it was the right choice.

Then I proceeded to absolutely hate him for about a year after he moved back in. I sort of cracked down on him on a lot of stuff. I set a whole new bar for him to meet. I removed any thought he had of having sanctioned privacy. Forget it, dude. The price of entry is I get to look at what I want /when I want.

It's been an interesting ride. Had you asked me a year ago, I would have told you that there was zero chance he and I were going to make it. But we started marriage counseling and that has helped. I'm starting to think it's possible for us to make it. In the meanwhile, I quickly lost interest in looking at his phone or searching his stuff. I just don't give a fuck. I mean, if I see something suspicious, I won't hesitate, but in the meantime, it's more important to me that our relationship improve. I just can't be watching over some guy like a hawk. I want more for my life than that.

Anyway. I know just how I felt at your stage in the game and I'm so sorry. All I can tell you is that your feelings will change every minute at first, then every day, then every week, and then you will go long stretches of "is it worth it?" and then, maybe, if you guys make it that long, you may be okay. Just don't settle for an inferior, less-shiny, slightly-tainted version of your marriage. Go for broke on improving it or get out. Marriages don't withstand these sorts of blows only to return to normal. They either get worse or they get better. Go for better.