I had a rather urbane first sergeant during MOS school. He was giving a liberty brief to a few hundred Marines:
A certain number of you are under the impression that you can fight cops and win. You are mistaken.
See, you can fight a cop and win. Singular. That's certainly possible. The problem is that the cop has a weapon on his belt that will ruin your day. No, it's not his gun. No, it's not his Mace. It's his radio. Which calls cops. Plural.
You can beat a cop, but you can't beat him and all of his friends. And he has more friends than you do, you goddamn idiot. So STOP FUCKING GETTING INTO FIGHTS WITH COPS. I AM SO FUCKING SICK AND TIRED OF GETTING A PHONE CALL AT TWO IN THE FUCKING MORNING AND HAVING TO BAIL YOUR DUMB ASSES OUT OF JAIL. HOLY FUCKING FUCKBALLS.
On that topic, best libo brief I got was from a different 1Sgt who was so black that if he were any blacker, he'd be purple.
Y'all better not be drinking dat sizzurp in the barracks, ya-hear?
awkward silence
What? Y'all never mixed Hennesy, cough syrup, and Kool-Aid before?
awkward silence
Well, don't do that.