Take a deep breath, good woman. You're overwhelmed. Remember the good times before making a life changing decision. I don't know him personally neither you so it is meaningless to give any advise which is too personal... still lets take a look. Do you remember the good times? Are there any you can think of? How valuable are they to you? Can you erase them from your mind? If you can't remember a single time he made you happy but remember thousand times he made you unhappy then I think it's time for a big change. Meanwhile please a genuine request from the bottom of my heart.. go out somewhere. Perhaps a peaceful place when you can sit down. Try to relax. Let the world and all worries fade away and ask your heart what it wants. You know what happens when you listen to it? It's not just mere sudden bursts of emotions I am talking about... It knows what you want. If it answers just go ahead and act upon it. No matter what cost. There are invisible chains in life of each one of us. Sometimes we are able to see it. When you do see please do your best to cut them off. They are keeping you down. Evil is evil. Lesser, greater, middling, it's all the same. If he cannot see the enemy nor attempt to fight it he will keep wandering around under it's mercy. If you ever have to choose between good and evil, don't choose at all. Leave him be and move on.