By no means am I trying to seem confrontational here as I think you did a very good job articulating a rather objective perspective here! As far as sides go however, I think what was permissible from what I can only guess is considered the ‘good side’ at the reunion, actually comes off as pretty deplorable. I do wish people would stop fixating on her not being skinny (I suppose by the established definition of ‘skinny’ her body type would be considered ‘curvy’? I don’t know. I think skinny is a relative term so that’s why I’m mentioning that I wish that would be one of her classifiers among the debate. I do feel like women are conditioned to inherently feel shame for their bodies if they do not read a certain number on a scale but I digress). I do however, think the debate is otherwise muddied up due to the timeline of everything. In my opinion, those in favor of Zanab feel the alter and reunion shouldn’t excuse Cole’s behavior during the season and prior to those events. Those in favor of Cole feel that Zanab’s behavior at the alter and reunion should hold her accountable for behavior post those events happening now. I think both of them were shitty to one another during the season. I think only one of them is being shitty now. It’s reasonable that people would believe such a distinction is excusing Cole’s part and blame during the season but I really don’t think that’s what people are taking his side for at this point in time. Accountability for shitty behavior is important for anyone in life, not just Cole or Zanab. There will be multiple instances throughout each of our lives that require us to take accountability for different things. I personally think Cole tried to accept accountability at the reunion but was denied it being accepted as real or authentic due to the peanut gallery chiming in. I don’t feel Zanab has taken appropriate accountability but that’s just me. Hopefully they each do better moving forward with different partners and can close this chapter in their lives and grow through the experience but I’m sure that can seem like an idealistic improbability