My BPD ex had two dogs who would constantly pee all over the carpeted rooms in the house. The house smelled like dog urine. The dogs never went outside to pee. I remember waking up, walking around barefoot and stepping in pee or dog poo. She loved those dogs though and I put up with it. The dogs eventually died due to cancer. (they were a particular breed that gets cancer when they age) I spent over $5000 on treatment for the first one. Heck my wife would even have done chemo to keep the dog alive.

The bad part about the dogs is that we had 2 kids and the kids would sit and play on the carpets that had dog pee that had dried (because we weren't able to find all the pee spots in time) all over. It was insane and bothered me a lot. It did not bother my wife. I wanted to change out the carpets but my wife's parents who were our landlords were opposed. OK so the kids played in dog pee infested carpets... The kids would get rashes and my wife would blame the school lunches! I mean the irresponsible things that I let happen in caving to my wife's "view of the world"! The cost of it all!

I'm at peace with myself for having left her.

I'm quite certain that no one can really live with her or her NPD mother.

Now Shanguerrilla, you probably own the house / property.
Also all this remodeling is probably costing you a fortune...
If I were you, I'd definitely set more boundaries and not cave in to your BPDs demands.
Giving in to her constantly changing demands means you're literally neglecting and harming (through inaction) your pets.
They deserve better.
So do you.

A future note: Make sure your property pre-marriage stays yours if you married your BPD SO. If you're not married, do not get married.

I totally get the dutiful pleaser pattern doting on the BPD SO who takes, takes and takes some more. Been there done that. Don't lose it all and bankrupt yourself because you love to please your BPD SO. Just keep that in mind long term. If she wants to buy a new house together and wants you to sell your house do not do it OK? Again, what's yours is yours not hers.