I mean, the fact that you consider this a "game", referring to the "bottom of the barrel" shows me how you view women. Which is not really as people, but as something to be attained. This "ranking" system, thid whole "I'm a nerd, she's a cheerleader" stuff you have in your head isn't helping. We all put our pants on one leg at a time.
Come on. You're making completely baseless and idiotic allegations. Please, explain how you twisted whatever I said into "you're an evil man who doesn't think women shouldn't be treated as people"? I'm just going off of the standard accepted dynamics of dating work. As a matter of fact, that's one of the reasons I maintain my qualms and reservations about Greek life. You know, in this respect, I'm honestly better off than half of the gym and sports chuds from my HS, and IDK what HS was like for you, but if you hung out with them for a day or two you would understand.
You keep putting yourself down, but then in the same breath say people don't value smartness or ambition, kind of putting others down. Then it's "their fault" for not understanding you, which is easier since this mindset means you don't have to change anything.
The fact remains that this is all a sad consequence of modern society. Not only in the "traditional" manner, but also as a result of widespread mass anti-Asianism, and especially Sinophobia. Like I said, I keep getting dealt the worst cards in the deck, and unfortunately, at a certain point, there are certain things of nature one simply can't change. I can't become a white 6'2" jock, receive lucrative frat bids, really get to join certain clubs, and get every other girl on campus I put effort into to fawn over me, even if I wanted to tomorrow. There is no equivalent of "transgender" for race or ethnicity. And unfortunately not everyone is predestined to become an alpha male.
It should be intuitive and obvious, but if you really still have trouble understanding, here's an example. Out of curiosity, what do you think about Calvinism and predestination? If you believe in that it's similar to that.
Nature club sounds awesome! If they are a bunch of jerks, join a local hiking group. Heck some time in nature sounds exactly like what you need. I have a feeling a lot of these worries are in your head, I can't know for sure. I used to worry about stuff like that when I was in college (stuff like "what if everyone secretly hates me?"). Being older, I don't really care as much about stuff. But be in tune with your gut feelings and if a group or situation doesn't feel "right", try something else.
That's what I thought, especially when I first joined. However (at risk of sounding like a "wokist" by the standards of this community), I'm getting the feeling like they're somewhat Sinophobic with who gets included to go on trips and who doesn't. All the leaders are either white or Hispanic, and while I'm assuredly not the only Asian, I'm probably the only Chinese person.
You might like the book "The subtle art of not giving a fuck". Maybe it'll help. Maybe follow someone like Zuby as well. I'm all over the place, but I truly do hope you can deal with some of these feelings and feel better.
How about "The Decline of the West" by Oswald Spengler? Maybe it'll help. Maybe follow someone like Whatifalthist as well. I'm all over the place, but I truly do hope you can deal with some of these feelings and feel better.