Thanks for that. I admit that arrogance is something I have long suffered from. Women have always openly chased me and I've broken many hearts. The biggest damage it does is that you start to feel superior than others, looking at them like they're lower than you. I had a really bad episode because of it when a girl called me out and basically told me that I'm an arrogant, show-off prick. I truly broke down because I knew she was right. At first I denied it but eventually I acknowledged it as true. I burnt all my clothes and wore the same clothes for about 2 years, not even washing them. But that actually lead to self-neglect and then depression.

Nowadays, I try to look after myself better. I guess I'm still working this arrogance out. How to tame it kinda thing. My biggest noticeable problem at the moment is that I always watch girls that are passing by, to catch them looking at me. I've tried to just avoid all eye contact with people but that can cause other problems. At times I would dangerously cross roads because of it! I need to stop seeking approval from girls and always trying to ensure they're turned on by me. I've learned that them types usually become disinterested when I get lazy and ungroomed anyway.

Maybe I need someone like this caring girl, but one who is closer. Someone that I can have real physical interactions and contact with. Because texting will never match actually seeing each other regularly. I hope that this nofap journey will separate me from my obsession with aesthetics and make me more comfortable with seeing girls as our other halves. Thanks to anyone who read this and to Capuchin especially :)