Wedding Toasts?

Absolutely do not have every member of your wedding party give a speech. That will go on way too long. They won't be offended. Typically if you are farther down in the wedding party ordering you do not expect to give a speech.

The most you would want to do is each set of parents, one groomsman, and one bridesmaid.

First, decide whether you want them to speak at the wedding or rehearsal dinner. You could also do both, such as parents at the wedding and wedding party at the rehearsal dinner or vice versa. I think this mainly comes down to personal preference, such as how big your rehearsal dinner is going to be and how much time you have in your reception timeline.

Next, figure out who you want to speak, or ask them. Some people love speaking and some hate it. I think it is fine these days to have someone speak who is not the person standing closest next to you if that's what you all decide, especially since you don't have a designated MoH.

Finally, decide when this is going to happen. We talked to our venue who recommended toasts during salads.

To give you an example of how we are doing it and the reasons behind it (everything in wedding planning is so effing complicated, amirite?):

  1. My parents. They are paying/hosting so they wanted to speak first to welcome everyone.
  2. His parents. Pretty much to keep the parents' speeches together.
  3. 2 of his groomsmen, speaking together. His best friend is our officiant who would have been the obvious choice, so he struggled with this one a bit. He ended up asking the groomsmen who was interested and these 2 piped up, who know each other and will be speaking together. He has 6 groomsmen and these are the ones who he originally planned to have standing farthest away but moved them up now that they're speaking.
  4. My two MoHs. These are my best friends from high school and were the obvious choice. The DJ recommended ending on the most energetic note.

Each group gets 2.5 minutes, enforced by the DJ, for a total of 10 minutes, which is really the longest you want speeches to go on.

FH and I are going to be speaking at the rehearsal dinner.

/r/weddingplanning Thread