So basically, 2020 has been such a shit year for me (and maybe for many of you as well). I had decided to run for Student Council President and so far the experience has been very very draining. Tl;dr, I didn’t win, but got Vice-President. But that isn’t why 2020 has been a horrible year. Apart from the obvious Covid-19 catastrophe, during the lockdown in my country (4 months ago), I had started to text a guy from my class a lot and eventually got closer to him. One thing leads to another and I found myself starting to develop feelings, eventually confessing to him via email.
A bit of background info, the guy is one of my ‘closest’ friends ex. They had broken up with each other on October 2019 after less than 6 months of dating. The relationship had a rather abrupt ending to it, and the guy was dumped via text and the reason still unbeknownst to him.
Ffw to 10 months later (now), I have liked this guy for about 2/3 months right now, and he often talks about how much he misses his ex and he obviously still really, really loves her. (To make my life easier let’s refer to the guy as ‘Brad’ and the girl (my friend) as ‘Nancy’)
Brad is such a sweet guy. He is SUCH a big weeb and we often have long convos about animes. He loves to bowl and only cries for sad anime romance movies. He’s also a bit of a nerd and very introverted, and is also very very smart. But he’s become more lazy and lost his drive ever since the breakup. And I don’t blame him. Nancy had left him in the dust just like that, and two weeks later she found another boyfriend. Nancy, ever since then, has grown to be (for a lack of a better and nice description) more bitchy and bimbotic day by day. Her new boyfriend, ‘Adam’, had asked her for sex last year around October - the month of the breakup. I’m not 100% sure if anything had happened between Nancy and Adam, but I couldn’t care less. Because all I care about now is Brad.
He honestly didn’t deserve to get dumped. He was a very nice and understanding guy and he had appreciated the simple things in their relationship. Although Nancy only had one date with him in the <6 months of being together, it was more enough for him. Although Nancy had put him as one of her last priorities, it was okay for him.
As a person who has never really liked anyone in their life, this feeling is rather new to me. And Brad always talks about his past with her to me via text, and I’m more than happy to talk to him. I know that he doesn’t really have many close friends to talk to pertaining to this topic, but as someone who likes him, I can’t help but to feel a bit sad :/ (for myself, and for him, of course)
I have never developed such a strong liking to anyone before. Ever.
But Brad, if you happen to read this message, I wanna let you know that I’ll always be here for you. Sure we don’t talk in real life like we used to because we changed seats (how tragic), but I’ll always be here to text you whenever you need me. Please take care of yourself and don’t drown in sorrow too much. Hang in there. I’m sure 2020 will get better, for you and for everyone else too! Please do your schoolwork and don’t waste your intelligence that I’m very jealous of HAHA! I know you may not be aware of this but, thank you for being there to text me when I was overwhelmed with stress during the holidays. Every time when I had just finished breaking down and was mega drained, you were there to send me a lame meme on Instagram, or fan girl over an anime, and simple things like that really made my day and they still do. I’m sure the people in reading this are probably falling asleep because this post is too lengthy for it’s own good and is riddled with grammatical errors, but I just wanna say I love you. Wow I can’t believe I just typed that, but even if you don’t love me back, if you’re happy, I’m even happier :D