Hey bud. I Was going through a similar situation in early July of this year and I really did try to do it and it was the worst mistake of my life. As I did it I was realizing how stupid and weak and just wrong I was to do such a thing to myself over a stupid piece of crap who couldn’t realize my wonder and value. Please listen to me I planned it out I was so intent on doing it but I was so wrong to do it and you need to realize how wrong you are and how selfish you are and what a mistake you’re making she wins if you do this you don’t get that? You just made the mistake of falling way too in love with the wrong person which is the mistake I made too. Trust me my brother I know exactly what you’re feeling and I understand your despair but I am begging you and telling you as another human being, dont. Please