20 years old, haven't got a diagnosis but I struggle with social anxiety so much, I can't strike a conversation with anyone, especially girls, not even when I am drunk.

I have a friend who easily talks to girls, makes friends with them easily and a few of the ones he's talked to has called me cute which just makes everything much worse for me, mainly because I am pretty sure they just use it as an inside thing to joke with him.

I just feel worthless, everyday is a struggle but I do my best to try to make others laugh at work if I can, put on my smile and seem happy. But when I start thinking about how I feel, everything just gets worse and I just want to lay down and cry, I don't want anyone to know how I feel either because I am afraid of what they will think of me then.

Daily I go to work, I'm an apprentice. My apprenticeship ends in January, looking forward to that. I enjoy just browsing reddit, running and sometimes I play WoW.

Fuck it felt good typing this out, even if no one reads it, I feel so much better already.