Today's Northern Line priority VIP guestlist:

1. morden. over 150 senior school aged children on a field trip, all of whom were trying to scan through the barriers while standing in the IR beam that explicitly prevents them from opening.

2. morden. a random woman, who i am assuming was late to perform open heart surgery on someone very important judging by how she physically pushed her way past me to the front.

3. morden. another woman who having stood blocking one gate for a good 25 seconds trying to scan her card who then enacted her VIP priority status to also physically push in front of me to try my gate instead as I was just about to put my card on the reader (spoiler alert: hers still didn't work)

4. old st. as I was mid step to put my foot on the escalator (to the right hand side) a hand shot across my chest and a woman jump from behind me to the left directly into the 1 stair gap between me and the person in front.

why the fuck are woman so intent on laying hands on me today! I am using a new beard oil but it seems to be having a lynx effect only with physical assault and rudeness.