This is as short as I could get this story. My appologies for any grammatical errors.
I was walking home from a bar with some friends(3 of us), shouting "hardcore parkour" and climbing/jumping over things; general assholery of a few early 20's males. We climbed the fence of what we thought was a hotel courtyard, fountains, beautiful landscaping, etc.. ran up some stairs, ran back down and over the fence. On our way out we heard sirens the street over and, being young and dumb, took off running and ducked into a hiding place. Two minutes or so later, German Shepherd latches onto my leg, all 248lbs of bite force ripping and shaking and dragging me through some bushes. Cop sounds grow louder and louder shouting "Get him! Get him!." Helicopter spot lighting me from overhead. I became incontinent, (pooped and peed myself) thought my career/life/walking was over. Turns out the place was a restaurant and people had been stealing alcohol from their outside bar. The dog got two out of the three of us. We were dumb as shit to take off running but had piss and vinegar running through our veins and really didn't think we'd done anything wrong. We were charged with commercial burglary and evading arrest. Had our faces published in a magazine. One of my buddies was on the cover. Sold in every gas station in that county. When I got to jail bleeding and hopping around on one leg, the guard who issues their clothes actually reached in and plucked a leaf off of my shit caked ass cheek. $8,000 in legal fees and all charges were dropped after signing an agreement to not sue the police department. Also. I'm in the military so, seemingly, our CO saw the whole thing as "we'll handle our own guys" and we were court martialed on top of the civillian trial. Double jeopardy doesn't exist in this case. We were demoted and stripped of our security clearance, requiring a chaperone at all times on base. We handled it like champions, kept our chins up through the shitstorm and I can happily say that all three of us are fully recovered, stable in our careers, and simply laugh about how that turn of the head and impulsive action ended up fucking us so outrageously hard.
Lessons learned: -Don't run from the law. -Don't become the guy who issues jail clothes. -Hardcore Parkour can be HARD FUCKING CORE. -Lawyer talk is exhausting. -Any day you're not shitting yourself with a dog attached to your shin is a good day.
A lot of people suggested we just take legal action against the law enforcement agency or even the city. Truth is we were just exhausted, broke, and ready to forget the whole thing ever happened.