While I appreciate the fact that my parents adopted me knowing I had congenital birth defects, worked to have insurance, and brought me to see a surgeon at 11 to seek out options to "fix" one of them... I really wish I wasn't sent into the room by myself and left to decide which of the surgeries offered to pick from. That just seems insane to me.

Funny thing is... I never complained about my hands an ot having thumbs. No one picked on me for it and I did more than fine as far as using them went... I was a good "artist" and had neat handwriting. I just had trouble buttoning pants as the muscle wasn't there between my index and middle finger like a thumb would have. But i held cups one handed... did everything normally... and again, never complained about it.

So when I was in a doctors office being given options for surgery I was under the impression I needed to pick one. I picked the least invasive one and talked with the doctor about the best scheduling time frames. I coordinated healing times with school and soccer and when I knew friends wouldn't be at camp or vacation....

My mom was an immigrant with little education and my dad was an immigrant with a lot of education, a good job, good insurance.... but no time.

Again... I'm super thankful that they provided me with what they did. They did the best they could and it was more than most could have provided medically.

But I look at kids that are the age that I was doing all this and coordinating, scheduling, and making life altering decisions without much info and it blows my mind. I wouldn't trust them to do it properly or know the right questions to ask.

The surgeries I got at 11 were unnecessary. They ended up making me lose range of motion. I didn't know to ask or schedule physical therapy to prevent scar tissue from being too tight... But that guy saw 20 or 30 grand walk in the door and basically manipulated me into getting one. The least invasive, least risky, and quickest ones.

Then scoliosis hit and I don't know if the methods have changed or if I just didn't know what questions to ask... but I wish physical therapy was offered as a suggestion... If it was I was the only one in the room and didn't know how serious it was to get it and didn't pass that along to my parents who dropped me off at the office that day. I got years of back braces and a huge spinal fusion(that I scheduled)

My mom knew I was smart and understood the doctors better han she did. She trusted that I knew what was going on and was strong enough to not need her there with me. I absolutely believed it at the time too. But a few questions I didn't know to ask and peer pressure from the doctors led me to make decisions about my medical future I wasn't prepared to make.

I can't be 100% sure but I probably was recommended physical therapy but opted out since I was so active anyway I thought I didn't need it.... along with the extra appointments. Ghat's what makes me sad. I can't be sure if the medical treatments I know I needed when looking back as an adult were offered and denied by my young self or not. I don't know if it's my own fault or if medical professionals let me down. I don't know if they were offered but my parents turned them down becasue of insurance and financial issues. But my mom barely understood medical english and my dad never came to appointments.

But I would in no way let an 11 year old take charge of all their medical life like my parents did.