What experience made you grow the fuck up?

Tl;dr: my scum bag nature finally shattered me as a human being and the years that followed of self destruction and the love of others eventually pieced together a stable adult.

Prior to 16 I was essentially a neck bearded douche nugget, at 16, I lost all my weight, became attractive and became a solid choice for what be my girlfriend/hottest girl in school at the time. We loved each other for 5 years but I came from thinking that if you were attractive you could be a piece of shit to anyone you feel like (neck beard logic). Our relationship was great.. For me. Girlfriend had to tread glass but was super in love with me, so she suffered in denial. At 19, I was studying 3d animation and absolutely nailing it, I always loved art and digital design. The course coordinators couldn't believe how quickly I adapted to it and how committed I was too becoming the best. They guaranteed they would help me get work anywhere. Just after the course ended. I had just turned 20, my girlfriend and I finally broke up, felt mutual until around a month later, her friends confirmed that she had a new boyfriend after a week (a guy I've never seen in my life) and that she had been cheating on me with him for over a year. This shattered me to the core, before I continue though, I'll say I have no evidence of the cheating to this day and am not looking for it (just words from her drunken friends), I never used it for sympathy or really mentioned it all that much. Never felt a physical impact like that in my life though, chest legitimately felt like a sledge hammer caved it in and the weight was only getting heavier. I began thinking I was too good to be depressed, unknowingly though, i became destructively manic, so I went and partied, from Wednesday to Friday night, weekly, getting obliterated, for about 2 years. During that time, I slept around, got into fights, ended up in random parts of the country and locked up a number of times for passing out in random places or being a public nuisance. I lost contact with a lot of people and became a massive burden for my mother, a beautiful person who has had life too hard to be able to put into a single story, she dedicated her life to provide for my siblings and myself and i'll never forgive myself for only making it worse. I worked odd, low paying jobs to fuel the drinking, became a courier driver and was slowly developing network skills through that. My boss had a 30th birthday party, I was roughly 22 at the time and had a new girlfriend, who i never loved and was suicidal, I treated her better than the first but I couldn't love her. At the party, my bosses uncle loved me and was serving at the bar, he would make sure I always had a drink and was doing shots constantly. I could nail tequila like it was water, and went on to prove it. I drank more than any time I ever done before. Eventually continously vomiting, cried out in Polish for some time apparently (before black out drunk, my friends tell me I can only speak in Polish and that's when they know shit is up) and passing out. I was taken to hospital, had my stomach pumped and was blacked out for 12 hours or so, after getting let go, I'd been bed ridden for 2 more days. When getting back to work, I somehow thought it was a sweet idea to have a drink before I left, not enough to impair me but on my license at the time, I wasn't allowed to have one, so it was enough to lose a license.. which I did because I was caught speeding and then breathe tested. I lost my license and lost my job, I had nothing but to back to drinking. I couldn't keep up lying to a girlfriend that I had no love for, I broke it off with her which in turn forced her suicidal hand. She swallowed 38 sleeping pills that night. I managed to catch her in the morning though and get her to hospital. I spent the next year, trying to be a friend and get her mentally stable. (She now has a partner and is having a child with him, she seems happy and I'm glad). Now, with no direction and no job, I was stuck, accepting that I failed life and that I was only increasing the strain on those around me. Still partying but now with less and less friends, I was losing them, they were just growing lives and it was getting to a point where they were paying for my nights because I was broke all the time. Still in a stasis, I got a call from a friend I studied animation with, he was cool and I always looked up to him, he mentioned he was now studying architecture and talked me into sitting the adult entry exam for it. He's never mentioned it but I feel he was trying to reach out and get me out of my situation. I passed the exam and went on to study (though I never had that much interest in architecture at the time). I spent next 3 years studying, working on the coolest projects, making the greatest friends and networking with people way out there in the field (Thank you courier driving). I met my current girlfriend, a beautiful human being that is endlessly kind and supportive, I don't deserve someone so physically and mentally beautiful, I'm trying to absolute best to make her feel she is wanted and appreciated, non of this the world is my Oyster bullshit. She inspired me to get back into my art, get a job and to love life again. I turned 25 last year and held a massive party where I provided over $2000 in alcohol and almost as much in catering. I needed to provide all those I loved and that have supported me with tokens of my appreciation and a gathering place where I could Thank them all for what they have done for me. I've graduated and have my ceremony this coming Thursday. I will go on to say that I love architecture and all it was but I won't be continuing in this field. I've gone back to studying 3d animation. It feels like the best choice I've made in my life. Conclusion: I didn't have a moment that made me an adult, I had my selfish child-like self smashed into unrepairable shards. What followed was a life that had many moments and instances (both bad and good) that became the new pieced together person I am today. I study, I work and I love. I care for those around me and even have a business on the side where I design logos and general image for new start up businesses for an unrealistically low price, I would do it free but I've become the bread winner in my house and channel as much money as realistic into helping my mother live as care free as possible. I still drink but I never had a drinking problem, I was the problem, I now drink in moderation and know the difference between a party and a gathering. Anyway, I feel I could go on for so much longer but it would just keep dragging on. Too many people to thank and situations to reflect on. The point is I'm the man I am today from being gifted the opportunity to experience as many angles as possible and MANY moments of self reflection.

/r/AskReddit Thread