I've lived my life.

I've traveled the world, seen war, lost my friends, lost my family, lost a lot of myself, lost my soul. Ran away, from everything.. 10k kilometers away. Things didn't go as planned. Made the wrong kind of friends. Started making money with the wrong kinds of people. Had to fight for my life to get out of it. Literally.

Then one day.. Just like any other day I found the most amazing woman in the world who saved me from myself. Feel in love. A beautiful love. A love that was so strong there was no compromises. No disagreements. No jealousy. No mind games.

Everything we shared only added to the richness of our lives. There was no bickering, or indecisiveness. There was no questioning or doubt. There was only love and the only pain we felt was when we were away from eachother. This went on for years, and our love only grew every day. The sun and moon never was brighter than the day i asked her "the question" and she said "Yes my love. A million times yes!".

I've never been so happy in my life. It makes me happy just thinking of those days, wrapped in love.

But one person's bad sense of judgement to drive under the influence ended the life of the most beautiful, kind, warm hearted woman on the planet. The worst part was, all she was worried about was "is the other person ok?" Here we are. In the street. Her dress torn, bright blood spurting from her mouth. I told her she would be fine... She knew it was a lie. I hadn't lied to her since the first day we met, and even then she knew. She's dieing and she's worried about someone she doesn't even know. someone who took away everything. someone who shortened her life way too early. She was concerned about them. More than herself. And she still smiled. That cheeky, innocent, beautiful smile.

This is just one of the billions of reasons why she was the most beautiful person I will ever know.

That was 8 years ago. Words can never express what I felt on that day however I believe President Theodore Roosevelt was pretty close on what he wrote in his diary the day both his wife and mother passed away. "The light has gone out of my life"

There will never be anyone like her. I've looked. I've tried moving on. So many woman have told me, "I'm not like everyone else." Or "if you can't handle me at my worst you don't deserve my best" or, "something something I just copied this from tumbler to post of face book"

I'm sorry you don't know how wonderful true love can be. It isn't advertising, promoting or marketing. Not strategy, reading tells, or raw animal instinct. I can't tell you what it is, there are no words. I can only try you what it is not.

It's like someone buying a Rolex. Someone who only has an idea of what it is, will think any one is real. They couldn't tell you if it's fake since they have nothing to compare it to, or they compare it against other fakes and convince themselves it's real.

Only someone who knows what a real Rolex is, how it feels, the way it works from the inside out...can spot the difference a mile away.

Tldr: we all have our own pain. Our own story. Our own journey. After all the people I have met and all the judgments I have made about others, I learned that you never know what someone has gone through in their life. What pain or struggles they deal with daily.

Yes everyone put on a happy face because if we didn't, who would?