I'm almost 30. I don't think I'm particularly attractive, but I got divorced a couple of years ago, and in my depression ended up losing some pounds. Grew my hair out. Started taking care of myself better, my skin and so forth. Doing things to make me feel pretty because I didn't want to feel like shit anymore.
Suddenly, I have a ton of male attention after having only been marginally attractive in my younger years, enough, in those years, to occasionally find out that someone had a crush on me, enough to get a boyfriend whatever. Granted, looks seriously aren't everything, but they make for a decent first impression in this ass-backwards society.
Anyway, after the divorce, weight loss, all that, I got a little more confident (not much.) Lost a lot of the awkward stuttering, rolled my shoulders back, spoke up more, stopped giving so many shits.
So, I started working at a library. I was a supervisor there. Worked there for about 4 months.
Once I left, like 90% of the males I'd made friends with and hoped to continue being friends with ended up texting me asking me for dinner, or to go on date-like things, or just straight up calling me beautiful and charming and hitting on me.
Teenaged me was like "OH HEY THAT'S NICE! WE'RE GETTING ATTENTION! I GUESS WE AREN'T UGLY!"
But the reality:
I don't have any friends in my town (not originally from here.) And it's really, really hard, and lonely. And I tend to click with men before women because I like to talk about music, and books, and hobbies, whereas 50% of the time when I start talking with a woman, the conversation ends up going toward talking about other people/gossipy/topics I just generally am not interested in. (These aren't BAD topics, and no this isn't an inherently feminine thing IMO, but it's just been my experience thus far.) I'm also not good at opening up and having emotional conversations, so my male friends are my favorite because I can shoot the shit with them and get my mind off things and whatever.
But now, I just kind of quit trying to make friends. Because when I do make a new friend, it's usually a guy. If he has a girlfriend, he won't want to be good friends with me because then his girlfriend ends up having a problem with some random girl who's started hanging around. Same if he's married. Which I completely understand, so fine. I have a ton of respect for that.
If he's single, he ends up hitting on me/asking me out, and then I end up hurting his feelings when I decline him. Then, if I try to hang out with him again, just as friends, to maintain the friendship, he ultimately thinks there's something more, and we have to have the conversation again. At that point, the friendship (which I guess was never there on his end) is ruined. I don't want to lead him on, and I'm willing to part ways with my friend if it means it keeps his feelings from being hurt.
So, what's it like to be a "hot" girl? I'm not hot, but I guess a lot of men find me really attractive, and the answer to that is, it's lonely, and it sucks a lot.
I have girl friends, but I hate feeling limited on the friends I can make just because it seems like thus far, it's been so difficult for the males in my life to be able to be just friends with me. It's not like I flirtingly touch them, complement them, or try to engage with them on any level other than hanging out and talking shop. But it happens.
I'm not angry at them, not at all. I know feelings can just happen.
But I remember years ago, not looking like this, and that didn't used to happen to me.
Now it does, and I feel like I can't make the friends I want to make friends unless I stop taking care of myself and doing things that make me feel pretty.
So, word to the wise: just because a girl is hanging out with you a lot and you guys have a lot in common doesn't always mean she likes you like that, or that there is relationship potential there. If you meet a girl you think is attractive, please just be as open as possible to being friends with her, real friends with her. If she wants more, she'll let you know. I myself am fairly forward if I like someone and have no qualms asking them out on a date and making moves, etc. I try to be clear with my words and my body language if I'm just interested in being friends only, or if I want more. Maybe I'm not being clear enough, and if so, I just hope I can figure out what to do better for the future.
I know I might just be projecting here, a lot, and assuming things...but I hate hurting people's feelings and so I've just kind of chose to isolate now rather than keep having that happen.