Best friend and his dad had a fight. Friend called me 3 am on the night and needed to talk. I believe this was the first and only time he was able to share feelings.

On the morning we received the news that his dad had tried to commit suicide. (He survived)

A few days earlier I had fucked up being too drunk at a party my friend was hosting and I took the blame with the reasoning that I had put more wood at the fire which led to the attempt. Through therapy I've understand that I was no one to blame as they had some problems in the family since before.

The reason of me being too drunk was that I felt down and eventually slightly depressed since a few months back and wanted alcohol as an escape.

However after the fight I went into complete darkness, started cutting myself, tried several suicide attempts and so on. Tried therapy back then but wasn't able to be helped, took another 6 years until I was able to receive it. 4 of those 6 years I did nothing else than pretty much trying to survive each day.