Wall-o-text. TL;DR: LSD.
Years ago, I had some LSD and I liked it, with effects a lot like what /u/donkey_tits shared earlier.
However, there was this one time. I had scored some money from a deal, and being 19-year-old with a bunch of money, decided that it'd be a good idea to buy a half sheet or so.
Deciding I'd share the bounty with two of my friends, we make arrangements to meet up at a local bar. Before heading there, I figure I'll take two hits. I'd done some LSD on two or three separate occasions not too long before, and was a bit concerned about tolerance. It was about 6:30pm, I was about 15 minutes away from the bar, and figured I'd start feeling something after getting settled in, having ordered drinks, etc.
I get to the bar, meet up with my friends, and they're all thrilled but nobody wants to do any LSD, as they're all more into weed. Fine, their loss. We grab a table, order drinks, and start chatting away. After what seems to be about 30-45 minutes, I realize I'm not feeling anything. I'm thinking I was right about tolerance kicking in, since I should at least start to feel tingly at this point. I head off to the washroom and take two more hits, figuring that'll kickstart the trip.
I get back to our table, and my friends have a couple of joints rolled up. We go outside, have a joint and a smoke, and head back in. There's one single pool table at this bar, and it's available (it's still early in the evening after all). We play a couple of games, and some other guys come in and put their coins on the table, calling the next turn. Since there's three of us, I sit the next game out, and my friends and the other guys play a foursome for the table. I sit back, enjoying my drink, and watch, waiting for something, anything, really. Nothing. As I see that my friends are losing, I put coins on the table to call for another game. Then I head to the washroom and take two more hits. Bear in mind that at this point, I'm suspecting either I got some really weak shit or I got ripped off.
I come back and the game's over, so I jump in with one of my friends and we start a game. We're now playing fantastically well. At that time I was a decent player, but that night I was acing everything. I was totally in the zone: jump shots, massé shots, anything. If there had been money on the table, these guys would have thought we had been hustling them. We win one game, and another, and the other guys are now trying to finally win one and order us drinks, probably hoping that getting us drunker will increase their chances. No such luck, but there comes a point where the mind is strong, but the bladder is weak, and drinking beer continuously makes one want to smoke more than usual. So we take a break and head out, first using the facilities and then hitting my friends' second joint and having smokes. While outside, my friends ask about the LSD and how it's going. I tell them I'm still not feeling anything, and that I probably got ripped off. As we're discussing the usual sensations that come with LSD, and them wanting to see what it looks like, I figure I'll take two more hits, yet again to at least have a little buzz.
We go back in, and the break has not helped our game. The combination of the beer and the joints have now turned us back into our usual, average skill, and we eventually lose a game, and the table. Feeling peckish after the weed, we figure it's a good time to go hit one of the nearby 24-hour diners before calling it a night. This diner was a place usually frequented by the local nightlife, meaning hookers and such, but it was particularly busy that night, especially for the time of the evening. We order our food, chat away, and then I'm asked again if the LSD is doing anything. Nope. Total disappointment. I had gotten totally ripped off. Which totally sucked, since the dude I had gotten it from was a good friend of a good friend, and I didn't particularly want to put my own friend in a sticky situation. So we finish our meal, I head to the washroom before we head out, and figure I'd take two more tabs before heading off, really hoping against hope that it's really just weak shit and not just some pretty blotter paper that I'm sticking on my tongue like an idiot.
One of the friends I'm with lives nearby, so he heads off home, and my other friend and I go off to the bus stop. My last bus is about 20 minutes before his, and as we get there, we find out we just missed mine. Not a big deal, as it's a pretty night. At the time I lived about an hour's walk away, which didn't bother me much. My friend offers another joint as a capper, since the LSD was a bust, which we share before his bus arrives. I start heading home, deciding to take a path through a nice park. While in the park, I have now accepted that the acid is a bust, but I figure I'd take a square of four tabs since I have to walk so long anyway.
The park's exit is about 40 minutes from where I live, so still a good ways away. As I leave it and get on the regular sidewalk, I see one of those municipal flower watering trucks drive by and figure I'd try hitching a ride. It works! I'm not stumbling drunk, so the guy picks me up and says he'd drop me off about 5-10 minutes away from where I'm going since his flower watering route takes him there. Total stand-up guy, just bored out of his gourd driving around and watering flowers from inside a truck, so he was happy chatting away for a few minutes. He drops me off, and I get home in record time. Feeling only slightly buzzed from the beer and weed, and not at all tired, I turn on the computer and log on to a MOO I'm helping code on at the time. I load up the project I'm working on and turn on the mod chat. I head to my bathroom and, dejected, figured I'd give this acid a last go before I figure out what I'm going to do about this guy. Another four tabs.
As I'm coding and chatting away, I end up sharing that I got ripped off with this LSD. One of the mods, who had done some before, says that it sometimes takes a while to kick in, like an hour. He asks me when I'd taken the first hit. I said "last night, at about 7." So he asks me what I've been doing all day. I said I closed the deal and got the acid. So at this point he's confused, how could I have taken the acid at 7pm the night before and only gotten it today? And why did it take me so long to figure out it wasn't doing anything? Now I'm confused, because it's about 1am and I'm trying to explain to him that "the night before" is a few hours ago. He says "check your clock."
It's 10pm.
Through what I can only believe was time dilation effect, what appeared to me to happen over several hours had only happened over a few. The real clue that I'd ignored was the number of drinks that I'd had: I'm a fast drinker, and I only had a total of three beers that night (two we bought ourselves, and one round by our pool table rivals). I eventually found out that we were winning these pool games in about 5 minutes each, as I really was on fire, probably thanks to my senses being so heightened/focused. And I had never missed the last bus, my friend had let me walk home because the buses were at an hour interval, so he figured I just preferred to walk home than wait an hour for another one.
But now came the sudden realization that I had taken 18 hits of acid in the span of about 3 hours. And once I realized that, the trip started hitting. Walls began pulsating, and all the trippy stuff that usually happens started happening. I needed to calm down to start enjoying, as I was starting to panic at this point, which is never a good thing. So I drew myself a hot bath.
Not a good idea.
The sensation of sinking was overwhelming, combined with the pulsating wall tile, made me feel like I was constantly falling backwards. The warmth was nice and soothing, but that was in contrast to a visual nightmare. Closing my eyes made me feel like I was spinning in a web of warm, wet cotton, but still falling. So the bath was off.
I got dressed and headed out to a local 24-hour video rental store. That helped me calm down and the trip started becoming more normal and enjoyable. I picked up a few movies and headed back home.
I don't remember what the first movie I picked up was, but someone had replaced the tape with a porn video, which I thought was funny at first, but LSD sometimes makes you see strange patterns on people's skin, which can make porn a truly bizarre experience. So out that went, and I popped in the next movie.
Unfortunately, the next movie was Batman & Robin. I didn't know at the time what a horrible trainwreck that movie was, as it was a new release. To this day I don't remember anything about the plot, but I do know that the combination of shots, colors, and Arnold Schwarzenegger's bad puns had a horrible effect on me. The whole thing was a confusing mess of colors, and LSD couldn't save anything about it.
(cont'd)