I feel much like you do at the moment, although I must admit our situations are vastly different. I just got out of a long term relationship 6+ years, much like your relationship I feel like I'm hers and she is mine. We talked about how many children we would have and what they would look like, and all the places we're yet to travel and visit. I fucked things up roughly 3 months ago, night of my birthday, I got hammered naturally and went on a abusive rant in the middle of a train station talking about how I would never marry her etc. all of which I don't remember due to my drunken state but I've been filled in by friends which were there. The follow day I decided stupidly to not go to her mothers day dinner, a dinner she reminded me many times was extremely important. From that point onward no contact, I saw her a week later and she was completely closed off. We had dinner, she told me we're on break. We didn't talk much over the next two months before she told me it was over two weeks ago. I've only now come to gripes with it, I still think about her 24-7 but it's finally gotten to the point where I don't feel the pain or cry, I can think about it endlessly with no pain just disappointment. Last night she was due to go to my mates birthday house part get together, she texted me the night before and told me she wasn't coming deciding instead to have a girls night with her sister, aunt and mates to go and see Magic Mike. She posted a instagram selfie of her looking quite angry/depressed/sad with the hash tags #notquiteok #notfeeling ittoday. I don't know what to do, I'd do anything to make it right.

The one thing I understand though is people have problems and talking help. Repetitively talking about it until you completely understand the situation or no longer feel the pain is healthy. If you need someone to talk to send me a message.