When I was a young lad around twenty years of age, I was taking a walk in the town square and saw this lady. I accidentally made eye contact with her and I just felt a tad cheeky. I went straight home to tell all my friends about it but I felt guilty instead. I decided to go to the priest instead and he was just appalled by my confession.

He told me to go to his chamber just right after my curfew. So I went there at precisely a minute after five in the afternoon. It was just the two of us there and he told me to kneel down in front of him. He whipped out something big. I swear it was the biggest piece of cabbage I've ever seen. He told me to pray for the sinful cabbage so I did.