I don't know if this qualifies as "no one knows" because everyone who knows me knows I'm an asshole, but I'm unable to form meaningful relationships with any but a select few of my family and literally three friends.

People annoy and disappoint me, and I can't find anything good in most individuals. Love's completely out of the question; I generally just sleep around for physical gratification. I loved a girl once, but she changed -- where once she was a vibrant soul, possessed with a deep passion for learning and personal improvement, she became in personality a trifling amalgam of banalities as time went on. We once spent long nights locked together in the afterglow of (repeated) sex, talking about how we were like Frank and Claire Underwood and how we were the only two people in the world as far as we were concerned, and that we'd support each other to become greater than either of us could ever hope to be alone.

Now, following a mutual breakup, she's fallen in with the church and started going out with a man in every perceivable way my lesser, except I wonder if it's that he possesses the one quality I could never acquire: the passion and love for my fellow human beings, based purely on what little good each of them might possess.

I don't know why I feel this way about people; I'm not really all that much smarter than the average bloke, but I just can't shake the feeling of disgust that rises in my throat every single time I see people behaving in stupid and childish ways. I don't know what made me this way; maybe I was just born this way.

I guess my saddest detail would be that I'm incapable of feeling love for anyone except for my estranged ex.