I'm 22. I live in Puerto Rick and the couple years have been hell.

Ever since Hurricane Maria hit us, I've realized how little I care about my life and my family. Ive been basically sitting in a room with a computer for 9 years of my life because I "feel" like I can connect with people online better then I do in person, people who probably would not give me the time of day in person. But ever since the hurricane, Ive come to realize that's all I am. A kid who barely does anything with his life and abuses his parents willingness to let me stay in their house because they love me. I know everyone has their own problems and I hate complaining cause it just makes my mom feel bad but I don't know how to cope with anything past sitting in front of my PC hoping I land somewhere so my family doesnt have to bother with me. With my PC broken and money tighter then ever I just sort of sit around and do nothing. I wish I could be confident in myself and do anything, even if it ends in failure but there are so many problems stacking up every other day that I just sit around waiting for anything to happen. Ive had depression ever since high school and doing well in school does nothing for me as a person. Getting an A on a test doesn't give me satisfaction even if I spend a week studying hard for it. Anxiety sticks to me like glue and all I do is second guess myself. I feel like dying but my family seems to love me so I cant just suicide, no matter how much I feel like this.

If you're someone who enjoys playing on the PC like me, please take care of yourself. Im only 22 and my body aches everything I do any physical activity cause all i do is sit. Its not worth it, no matter how much it helps you ignore the world around you. Ill probably end up staying in this house forever at this rate cause its all I have ever known. Just need to vent a bit. Goodluck to everyone else. Hope everything goes well.