Going to share since this has been bothering me for a few weeks now ever since graduating from my nursing program.

When I was 10-11 years old I was raped, by two older boys in my neighborhood repetitively for several months. We lived on a block with 4 houses and one of them at the time was abandoned, we had neighbors on either side of our house and each of them had an older boy there for the purposes of this we'll call them Nick and Joe. They each had younger brothers, and Joe had a younger sister too that myself and my younger brother played with, and my older brother usually hung out with Nick and Joe even though they were even 3 years older than him. Well one day they got my older brother to bring me along to the abandoned house on the corner, which I was fine with there was a swing set and stuff in the yard and a satellite dish on the ground that would fill with water and we'd catch frogs in it. Well he brings me over there to play and then just leaves me with Nick and Joe, who were my friends brothers and older and I trustd by this point, and they took me into the basement of the house and both raped me. At this point I was confused they told me it was normal and okay and cleaned me up before I went home.

I said nothing for years, until I was 18 and had my own daughter, and when I did say something my family pretty much told me I was full of shit. That if my brother did that he didn't know what he was doing, he was almost 16, seriously? No one ever wondered why I wasn't close to my older brother like I was to my younger one, when we had all been best friends when we were younger. No one ever picked up on anything, and the incidents like that kept going until we moved away. I think by the time I told I was over it emotionally, it still mentally fucks with me and I know that and have spoken to a therapist about it, but it really fucked with me forever my brother would hand me to these guys knowing what they were going to do and it was wrong.

This is where it gets to the secret part, this year I went through nursing school, long grueling year. We had clinical in a lot of different places in the community the hospital, nursing homes, outpatient clinics, doctors offices, and in my case I got to go to a prison nearby along with one of my classmates. He and I asked for this rotation when the school got the contract and we wanted to do it because we both figured we'd enjoy working in it. We get there first week all good, second week good, third week middle of our rotation I'm in the ER they have there. We get some guys in one gets a catheter put in transferred to the infirmary, (this is an all male prison) another guy comes in rectal bleeding and bowel issues, yes it's what you assume it is; third call we get to clear out the entire infirmary we have a 7 House guy coming in. This house is Administrative Segregation (AdSeg), but this isn't normal AdSeg those are 6 House, this is the ones with so many delcared enemies they can only go with others with the same issue so many enemies they cannot be in a regular population. As they explained it to me these are the child molesters, ones who've killed pregnant women, or babies, or their family, since those are the big you don't do in prison things.

We get the unit locked down, gloved up and are waiting they bring him in, he's got a gash on his forehead and blood on his jumper, likely a black eye, bloody nose, and busted lip. And it's Nick - because in a hundred years I could never forget that face, even though I've wished a lot I could. Our eyes met and at that point I didn't think he recognized me. So I just stood there handing supplies over to the doctor as he stitched his forehead, and then cleaned off his face and examined his nose. They finished this and I cleaned up the remainder of the blood off of him and placed his steri-strips on the minor cuts where the doctor had ordered them.

Get it done and the guards took him off, I went to speak to the medical director then who was overseeing us and told her when I filled out everything I did not know this man was here and the entire chain of things, she got with the warden that day and tells me at the end of the day since I never had a case against the prisoner in question then I can continue clinical there if I want to, she had also told my program director what was going on. I then went and spoke to my program director for about 2 hours the next day tell her everything talk to her about everything, in the end I decided to finish my last 3 weeks there, before the final clinical rotation. I just never told anyone about it, not my family, not my friends - well technically one of them I told the other student who was with me because he noticed that something was off with me that afternoon when we met up for lunch, not my boyfriend, because at this point I'm not sure what I would say to anyone. "Hey remember those guys who raped me? Ran into one of them in prison!" It was uncomfortable having to be around him when I went into 7 House after that because I think he did realize who I was after a while, he would stare the entire time I did med watch take or sick call, but at the end of the day it is like my nursing program instructor said to me.

You don't get to choose who you take care of in life when you take your oath you take it at the end of the program and it goes to everyone, it's my choice the kind of person and nurse I want to be. At least now Reddit knows I guess, so I've told someone.