I have a pen-pal type thing from England (I'm Canadian). Well, I guess different from a pen-pal... we just text back and forth with WhatsApp (I liked Google Hangouts, as cellphones are difficult for me, but he wanted to be able to send me audio). Anyway, he's really ill and isolated, often bedbound and never overly mobile. I think I'm the only one he communicates with regularly (people either took off or he pushed them away). He showed me a picture what I've dubbed his "Pet Noose", which he keeps in the closet. He tried to end it all 4 times before (must not have tried that hard, or maybe he's super incompetent), and plans to try again on Christmas. ("How determined are you?" "70%.") We'll see what happens with that. But I think I'm the only one that knows. And all I can do from here is provide companionship until he decides to go, subtly try to talk him into staying, watch him deteriorate via his many selfies. See his messages go from decent conversations to dead, clipped answers as he mentally crumbles.

And I've been here before. It doesn't even faze me anymore. I'm quite certain that everyone I care about is going to spiral into depression. Many people have already told me they're going to kill themselves. I seem to break filters when I get to know people, and eventually everything just comes tumbling out of them. This time, I don't think I can "save" him, even though he's opened up to me.