I was cornered into a relationship once. I met the guy through my job.

To understand how I got to this place, you got to understand that I had just tiptoed out of an abusive relationship from high school. My self esteem, my ability to stand up and say "no" were completely shot. I was actually just looking for a friend. Someone to talk to and hang out with.

He invited me to watch a couple of movies at his apartment. I had wondered if I should let him know that I wanted to hang out and nothing else, but that seemed silly. How would I even bring it up anyway?

But this guy...he had other ideas. Not even ten minutes into the movie, he placed his hand on my thigh. He practically slapped it there. And because I didn't say, "get your hands off me, you creep!", he shoved his tongue into my mouth just a minute or so later. He never let up.

Why didn't I say no? Well, because I was on his "turf" and the last guy didn't handle being told "no" very well (he screamed at me, called me names and said "I don't want to" wasn't a reason). What if this guy didn't handled it worse? So I went along. Maybe I can just give him what he wants and be done.

Again, he had other ideas. He called my house several times over the following two days. (This was the late 90s, so no cell phones, just Caller ID.) I didn't answer.

So he came to my work and asked me, " You ever get the feeling you're being avoided?". I should have said something then, but I lost my nerve. I visited him again. I thought he was nice enough and he didn't treat me like shit. Maybe, just maybe I'd find something I liked about him.

But I never did. The following couple of months were Hell. My mind tried to tolerate the guy, but my body refused to go along. Sex really hurt. You could light cigarettes with the friction. I felt so gross. I really came to hate his mouth. Gross, gross, gross!

Then he had to move to a town almost an hour away. I was finally free! We weren't "official" or anything. So I could just be busy and ghost him now, right?

He showed up at my house after I began ignoring him again. Asked me what was up, said he really missed me. Again I lost my nerve to tell him the truth. Seriously, though? He missed me? Or just the sex? We hardly knew each other at all after everything.

After a week, I realized how much I loathed him. What was I scared of? Why did I care about hurting his feelings?

So I called him. I played nice for a bit to gather my courage. Throughout the call, he thought he was being so funny yelling at his roommate to shut his fatass up every so often. Then he asked, "Wow, since you called, you want to come over right?".

"No. In fact, I don't want to sleep with you anymore."

"...can I ask why?", he said.

"No. It doesn't matter. The point is I don't want to." Dick move on my part, but I was finally telling the truth. It's just that telling the whole story would have taken too long and I didn't give a shit anymore.

He sounded like he was going to cry. "Can I still call you?"

"Honestly, I'd rather you didn't. Goodniiiiight!" And I hung up. I was so giddy. I was finally free.

Two weeks later, I heard a knock on the door while napping. I stumbled down the hall putting on pants and looked through the window. It was him. I guess he thought he could get closure or talk his way back in between my legs. I know he saw me peeking. I just turned around and locked myself into my room.

There are some who might feel bad for the guy, but I don't give a shit. I finally learned it's ok to say "no" and met a man I'm still happy to say "yes to.