Wow. I've learned a lot in the last six months.

My girlfriend of 7 years, we have two kids together, she had an affair. I found out during it last October and I basically called it quits at that point which was really hard. I think that's the only thing she could have done to have me make that decision. It was rough. Shortly after that I discovered Alan Watts. Which helped me a ton in sort of opening my perspective. I've been into philosophy for years but never read this guy's stuff before and it's absolutely amazing.

I also learned about what's really important in life and that isn't money. I accept that sometimes we don't take action when we should or we let things stagnate and sometimes the universe, or flow of life, or whatever you want to call it, gives us a little push in a different direction. It's telling us were looking in the wrong places for the wrong things.

I've also, since last fall, been really struggling mentally. I had a few instances since January that I was incredibly close to giving up. You know. And I knew the dark thoughts I was having were irrational and not a solution. So I went to the hospital the next day and they put me on meds that are helping. But the only reason I made it through that night is because I actually called the suicide prevention hotline and was on the phone with them for an hour. It helped and I thought I was good so we ended the call. Then a few minutes later i realized I wasn't good. So I called my dad. Me and him have always had a strained relationship but we sat on the phone for 3 hours and just talked. About serious things and just random things.

TL;dr: when I was in my darkest place, I held on to a sliver of rationality to see my thoughts weren't rational and I went to a doc and I'm doing better. Meds help. Therapy helps with how we perceive the world and events. It's nearly never as hopeless as it sometimes seems. Glad you're getting help I hope it gets you going again.