when the new girl at my job told me, casually, that they sleep around “only 5 times a month” and said that “if we were together it’s fine” as if she expected me to be totally normal about that. it was the first time i’d even met her. it was the end of my shift luckily and i stormed out absolutely pissed. got told “she’s just jealous and you’re overreacting” cliche bullshit. and then a few weeks later i snooped through his phone since he has left it open on the bed because my suspicion was eating away at me. did not make me feel better. wasted a lot of time trying to convince myself i was the problem like i was told to ignore the facts (and because i was a bit afraid of what he how he would react if i tried to dump him in his own house) but eventually too many things i was told made too much sense and i couldn’t take the constant depression and anxiety from knowing that i wasn’t ever going to be enough. tried to play victim after it all and i ended up sending very nasty messages at the end and blocking. lesson learned. spent a year in that fucking turmoil and i wish i had saved myself the time instead of being an idiot.