The summer before last, me and my mum took a greyhound bus all the way from northy north northern B.C to Southern Ontario to visit her parents/my grandparents. As we're crossing through the Prairie provinces we like to make jokes about wheat and hay and cows and such, stuff like 'holy cow' or whatever. Anyway, so one thing that mum starts doing is breaking out into a song called "wheat kings", I've never heard it in my life and it sounds kinda dorky so I'm glad that I've never heard it, but she still manages to get the "wheat kings and pretty thiiinnnggsss" part stuck in my head.
Now this is where it gets weird; about a day or two later, when we've finally reached my grandparents place, they surprise us by planning a trip to the CNE. For those of you who don't know what that is, it's basically a wicked awesome fair with a bunch of rides and huge buildings that are designated areas for a huge food court, and one building that has a huge amount of multicultural shopping. So we get to the CNE and we mess around on rides and eat foods that probably increased my likelihood of getting heart disease by 386% and eventually we get tired of walking and go to ride on this gondola that spans the length of the fair. It's a lil freaky being up so high, but at least if we fall and die well be in the news and get famous so it's kinda like a win win situation. So we're about half way across the park at this point, just lounging in the air, when suddenly I hear it.
"WHHHHEAAATTT KKKIIINNGGSSS AND PRETTYYY THAAAANNNGGGGSSSS"
Scratch death from a huge fall, I'm gonna die from the sheer amount of force that went into ramming my head against the lap bar. It turns out that the little adult area where bored old people get wasted on shitty fair beer has some kind of live music going on to entertain said old people. I'm not sure whether it was some random band doing a cover, really legit karaoke, or the actual band that sings "Wheat Kings", but somehow, someway, the entire 3-4 day, cross country trip led up to this one specific moment. Out of all the months we could have gone on our trip, all the specific weeks in those months, all the delays or times we had been ahead of our bus schedule, of all the places my grandparents could have taken us, that specific day during the week we had stayed in Ontario, counting all of the time wasted shopping, eating, and going on rides, and of all the songs that the band could have played, of course it was the INSUFFERABLE SONG THAT MY MOTHER COULD NOT STOP SINGING. ?????????WHY??????????? IT'S NOT EVEN A TOUCHING, OR A REMOTELY COOL SONG. LITERALLY, IT'S JUST ABOUT SOME WHEAT. IT PROBABLY WASN'T EVEN THAT POPULAR.