I heard advice for when you are feeling like physically hurting the child or shaking it or yelling at it, to pay attention to how small their hands and feet are compared to yours. They need us to be patient and loving.

I feel like I've grown as a person the last couple of years with my toddler and am happy I'm breaking a cycle of abuse that was in my family. I never thought I was cut out for parenthood either due to my own issues but my wife believed in me and supported me.

I will never forget watching my dad pick up my older brother by the neck and slam him to the wall repeatedly. It only happened once but I was afraid of him my entire childhood and it took a long time to get over being afraid. I've heard stories about my grandpa doing unspeakable things to his kids as well. I won't do any of that. I'll make mistakes I'm sure, but nothing to the degree of what older generations thought was ok.