3. What is your biggest secret?

What is your biggest secret?

Recently I've tried to better myself in the looks department, eat a healthy diet and do exercise. Most of the people I know just think I am doing that because I'm getting older and learning to take care of myself (16M) - I've never been particularly interested in love and my life is just video games.

In actuality, I look in the mirror every day in the morning and get really, really sad. I have quite acne-prone skin which has led me to have low self-esteem and not be confident in social situations. People assume that because I seem like I shouldn't be interested in the way I look, that it doesn't sadden me. But it does, it does a lot.

But I'm doing all of this for a special reason. 8 years ago I moved away from my hometown to where I currently live. I left a lot of friends behind, including this one girl that I was close friends with. At the time, I was a naive child who knew nothing about anything. I didn't realise the feelings I had.
Fast forward to February this year, and I'm at one of my best friend's house, helping him with homework. He had recently gone to London to see his friends (similar situation to me but I don't go back to my hometown as I was younger) and the conversation went to past crushes (he has a LOT more experience with girls than me). I thought for a bit and then I remembered this girl. For the first time in 8 years.
I talked about it to him, and he (I assume) did not mention it much about it because he, like me, realised it was hopeless. I was a depressed mess for a while. Part of me was devastated by remembering her, but the other part of me knew I was being childish and that I should grow up.

I'm hoping that one day I can grow the balls to talk to her. I don't care if nothing happens between us (obviously I do want something to happen, though) but just having the peace of mind knowing that I stepped out of my comfort zone for the first time and ended a troublesome chapter of my life.

At the end of all of this, it's my journey to be happy for the first time, in what is possibly the only way possible.

Sorry if there are typos - posting from my phone.

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