One of my uncles and his family didn’t move because of a “business opportunity” in an extremely rural area that involved buying the worst possible business in the 2000s. They moved because he was caught extorting the person that molested his daughter. Instead of turning the person in, he tried to blackmail them and was caught. He ended up getting more trouble than the sex offender based off of some of his actions and his previous business. He was basically run out of town but told everyone he got a great opportunity to buy a failing business in area that is dying.

My uncles are all fucking morons. One of them also told me how much healthier he was when low calorie beer came out because he started drinking that instead of light beer. He would drink an entire case of that instead of a 12 pack.