Your story reminds me of my highschool girlfriend. She was different, but in very positive and unique ways. She was very athletic, but more into rough/contact sports. At the same time, she was very into the fashion scene and actively pursued both designing and modeling. Needless to say, total catch. Meanwhile, I dealt with what I recognize now as extremely low confidence, as well as a weird narcissistic personality. So between thoughts of "I don't deserve this" and nitpicking every flaw I could find in her and others, I hit the panic button and noped out of the relationship suddenly. Totally uncalled for and unexpected, I just couldn't deal with my thoughts at the time. Still, she the guy before me who dated her was legit crazy, like I'll stalk and kill you type crazy. So, I think she was just starting to open up again when we were dating, only for me to shut that door in her face. I'm not full enough of myself to think that I did any lasting damage, but I know that she spent some time wondering what was wrong with her. There was nothing wrong with her, and she deserved better. We talked about it a year or two down the line, and are civil even if we don't maintain contact all too much. Super sweet girl, and she's doing well. I'm legitimately really happy for her. Sorry, longwinded and not completely relevant haha, just suddenly felt like getting that off my chest.