Nope. Just means I am a very strong woman and I came through it. Life gave me a good kick in the teeth. Yes, this experience left deep cuts emotionally that took a long time to heal and some things like my night terrors may never fully go away. But I didn't let it rule my life. It was rough. But I still maintained healthy long lasting relationships for years until I met my husband.
I am not going to pretend everything was all roses. It wasn't. But life in itself isn't a bed of roses. Either you crawl up wither and die or you hold your head up and get back on the horse.
Life experience shapes you, molds you, helps you see things differently. Do I like the fact I was raped? No. But that experience was something I chose to take by the horns. I turned it into something positive by working with RAINN and being a rape advocate. I knew how to approach another victim in the hospital. I knew not to touch her to console her unless she asked me to hold her hand or unless I asked permission. I knew not to pester her with questions but remain quiet and allow her to speak at her own pace. I knew what she needed to hear, "You aren't alone, it isn't your fault, and I gave each of these girls my home number and told them, I don't care if it is 4 am. If you need me call, I will leave immediately to come to you or just stay on the phone till you fall asleep." Helping them actually helped me more than any therapist ever could.
Some girls, yes it does break them. One girl was raped and the guy threw acid on her. But most of us are like Timex. We can take a licking, and keep on ticking.
Experiences like these do not make a girl damaged goods. We may have quirks but it is no different than a man coming home from war. Some of them come home missing body parts but they press on. One guy I knew lost one leg and his right ear. He learned magic while spending two years going through multiple surgeries and left the ward with his nurse Amanda on his arm that he had wowed and impressed with his skills in magic. I still can't figure out where the 50 cent piece went considering he rolled his sleeves up. Jett I had the best hope for because he was funny as hell and then two years later ate his gun.
It isn't the experiences you go through, it is how you are able to cope afterwards. I am 41 now. It has been 25 years since that night but I am one tough cookie. I am happily married to a gem of a husband for 14 years. We have never had a fight, we discuss things and come to a mutual agreement. The trust we have together is on the same level as my gparents who were married 68 yrs.
Let me ask you this... If you did marry a "perfect"girl who had lived a perfect life and one day she was raped, would you divorce her because now she is damaged goods? What if she got sick with cancer, went through chemo and had to go through a double mastectomy? Would you leave her juat because she was damaged goods? What if you were pulled over and the cops ran your name and a mistake happened in records showing you had a warrant and you were taken to jail. What if a big man decided to rape you against your will while you were in jail? Should women look at you as damaged goods and ignore you juat because you went through hell?
What if your daughter was raped? Would she then be damaged goods to you?
I was raped, humiliated, treated like an object, laughed at while I begged and cried for them to stop. That doesn't make me damaged goods. My rapists (yea plural) are the damaged goods because unlike them I am capable of love, empathy, compassion and I am far than I could ever imagined. A few years ago I was asked if my rapists were put in jail would I want that to happen to them. I thought long and hard... If that question had been asked when I was 16 - 30 I would have said yes. But now, no... I wouldn't wish that on anyone because no one deserves that kind of pain and humiliation. Also, wishing for that to happen to them makes me just as heatless and a monster juat like them.
It isn't the things that you experience in life that breaks you. Instead it is the things you tell yourself after the deed determine if you make it or break it.
Nite