Almost stayed at a house where I probably would have ended up getting raped. I was 18 and with two of my male friends, one was kind of my boyfriend at the time, though nothing official. Anyway we took a load of MDMA one night and somehow ended up at these friends of a friend's house. There were three guys who we kind of knew through others, and they were a lot older than us (youngest was like 27, and oldest was in his 40s) and anyway, I was just getting bad vibes off them, but I was so high/loved up on the drugs that my body just wasn't feeling any of its usual fear or giving me any signals to get out of there.

But basically, this older guy is being really inappropriately sexual with me, like really rapey and lerchy. I believe what started it was me talking about something sexual, and he basically took this as an invitation to start groping me and being a creep. One of the other guys he was with was this huge massive guy who had done time for dealing coke and heroin, and at one point he kind of fell in to me and I felt the weight of him on me. I don't know - he didn't apologise, they just kind of laughed and that's when I started to feel a bit wierded out. (Also turns out that this guy had a reputation for beating his girlfriend.)

So yeah, my boyfriend at the time was getting scared (he wasn't the type to either), telling me they would rape me or w/e, and I just put it down to the fact that he had taken too much coke and was getting paranoid. But anyway despite me still rolling my head off I agreed to leave and went back to his.

Now, when I think back, I feel disgusted at how close I came to putting myself in a situation that could have ended a lot worse. MDMA is a nice drug, but it can also allow you to make some pretty stupid decisions that you wouldn't do sober. To any other girls (and boys) out there, remember to stay safe no matter how good you're feeling. Stop and try and have a real rational talk with yourself every few hours to make sure you're not getting carried away. Stay safe.