You said here:

I am 56 years old, in decent health. In the last year I've lost my wife of 21 years, I lost my business, and now I find myself living in a van, literally down by the river. I have no family whatsoever, one very good dog and $4,700 in cash, about 65 hits of some decent acid and three 5 milligram vicodin. I am a lifelong surfer, I am currently in Gold Beach, Oregon. I'm pretty tired, depressed. Tell me, where do I go from here?

Or is that inaccurate? You also claimed to have eight months to live not long ago, and that contradicts your "in decent health" statement above. But of course here you say you are going to kill yourself once you run out of money. Oh and that you were a fabulously successful hit man.

Ultimately, I'm uninterested in sorting reality from your bullshit here. Best of luck to you. Enjoy your dinners at the soup kitchen.