3. What's the most hurtful thing a loved one has said or done to you recently and h...

What's the most hurtful thing a loved one has said or done to you recently and how are you dealing with it?

long story short, I'm fairly certain my father doesn't believe I'm his kid.

Since I was little he would say to me, "I'm not your dad, (mom's coworker) is your dad" whenever I would call him dad. He thought it was hilarious.

Now as an adult, I think of all the cruel shit he did to me (nothing physically abusive, but emotionally and mentally abusive for sure.) and the way he treats me in general compared to my male siblings. Not to mention how fucking shifty of a parent can you be to say that to a 4 year old?

This past week I received a package from him, 2 months late Xmas gifts bought entirely from Sams Club. He said he sent it the week of Christmas, and then said he sent it in January, finally remembers in February. It would have been better if it was nothing.

Some of it expired, most of it stuff I don't like or want. I'm donating most of it, because looking at it makes me sick to my stomach. Its proof of what I know is true - he doesn't really care. He sent me only things he likes (he's definitely a narcissist, apparently narcissists are poor gift givers) such as polo shirts, gum, and canned antipasti all from Sams Club. But this is all fine because this is what he's done for years. I guessed every gift correctly before opening it. And its the thought that counts, right?

But then on valentines day he makes some posts on Facebook. Pictures of roses and tulips and 4-5 gifts for his wife. And then an hour later he posts the snowboard, helmet, and goggles he bought my brother for his birthday even though he's currently deployed for the next 6 months. To me it was proof that he either intentionally bought me crap, or really just can't be bothered.

Anyway, the whole thing had me pretty depressed. I haven't talked to him about it but ill be seeing him in a few weeks, so ill be bringing some of the items back to him and laying all this shit out. I know to some people the gift thing is whatever, but I'm not ungrateful. I would just rather have nothing than be proven right. If he truly believes I'm not his child, then I don't want anything from him.

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