It really depends on how you define “not a big deal”. After my first time, I was surprised how not a big deal it was. It was boring, while fun in the moment. it kind of felt like next level of making out. To me it wasn’t this thing that made me feel empty inside after a hook up, just pleasure and went on about my day. I was really careful about who I did it with, and I always made them get a STD test if they hadn’t since their last hook up. And always condoms.

It became a big deal when I met my husband. Outside of love, the fact that my best friend and I can try a lot of different things over the last 6 years has been a blast. Inside of love, it’s the intimacy and idk- all the fireworks I originally expected. While sex can be just fun when single, it’s a whole new world with someone you love and are in sync with.

I feel like there’s a huge difference between sex and making love for me. Both are incredible in very different ways, again for me. I 100% see where other people are coming from when they say sex without love is depressing though. I think it’s something that everyone will form their own opinion on and there’s no wrong answer :)