How are very first started before I went to my doctor and got on naltrexone, and I do go to therapy which I did before and still do…

How I first started was I would roll up to AA meetings and just sit there. Most of the time I would hang out in the common areas and read my phone or go in and be a wallflower. But sometimes I would just sit in the parking lot. Either way, I wouldn't drink and that was the win. I never once spoke at an AA meeting or introduced myself or even spoken with anyone outside of a couple people being chitchatty.

Anyway, if you can make yourself do that for a couple weekends it will help you at least feel like you're doing some thing to manage.

I know it's annoying but you put yourself there so you got to get yourself out. And there are so many people that help you along the way. I found a "sponsor" through a friend who had been through AA and both of us are atheists.

I still call my friends' sometimes if I feel the need to pick up a drink. I have two close girlfriends and then my husband to help hold me accountable and all three are lovely. They don't give me crap when I mess up and I'm drinking almost not at all these days. Took about a year to really get here. I'm maybe pick up a drink once every couple of weeks and sometimes I even put that down before getting into it.

My advice may not be for you, but it is something that helped me and I really hate meetings, hence the non participation