Thanks for sharing.

I was smarter than everyone in the meetings. These were all old fucks that did not get what I was going through. I would get drunk at the bar after meetings and talk shit about people. How productive was that?

The steps were always messed up to me. That stuff worked for people in the 1940s, but I live almost 80 years past that. What the heck do you mean we are using the same steps?

I mean I can say you need a hobby, you need to open up, you need to just talk about shit, you need to find a personal friend.

Hell, that works for some people. Dozens of people told me the same stuff. I still wanted to drink when I had those conversations.

I am angry, anxious, mad, sad, upset, pissed, and all the other ones.

And when people tell me how to live my life, I am the first to tell you to piss off.

I don't need a coach. I don't need someone to tell me how to live.

Piss off if you think you are going to run my life for me.

I would love to drink forever. I would love nothing more than to live in a camper, drink beer all day, and not have to worry about anything.

I can't do that though. Not sustainably at least.

Idk where I was going with this. I hope you get better. I hope that you find something that fills the monotony of life. Good luck.