I know why, at least for me. I'm an alcoholic. I drink. I'm also really experienced at telling lies, both to the people around me and myself. I'm more than happy to say, "No need to pour this one down the drain. I'll just drink it, so it doesn't go to waste. Then I'll quit right after."

You can probably figure out from my single digit badge count how much truth is here. At least I haven't given up completely. I'm still wanting and trying to quit.

I already know this weekend will be another challenge. I've already calculated which liquor store I'll visit, how many liters I'll buy, and what lame excuses I'll make to sneak away early and drink til I pass out. Maybe if I'm lucky I can get up in time to do some morning drinking, then pretend I'm "busy" with something until I sober up just enough to make an appearance. I'll fake it, and hope they won't notice. They know anyway, but won't say anything.

This is such a sad, miserable alternative to living. I just want to stop this dumb carnival ride.

Go pour out your booze. Don't buy any more.