I don't know if it's hate, but for sure it's something complicated. An ex. She treats me like I'm literally not a person. Then she turns around and says/does things which trick me into thinking she does see me as someone. Then she goes cold and treats me like dirt again.

I don't understand it, I don't see the point. We haven't been together for 8 years. The relationship ended shittily and we both did shitty things. I accepted responsibility, she didn't and continues to blame only me. But she said we were good multiple times and reassured me, but then it turned out to be lies.

She is the only person in the whole entire world I would slap in the face. I've never put my hands on a woman in a violent way. I've never even been violent around a woman - never so much as slammed a door. But I'd slap her. The way she treats me is just unbelievable and she has taken every chance and benefit I've given her and taken advantage of it without remorse. She just didn't care and she's the sort of person who would read this and blow it up as dramatic instead of going "Oh hey, this is how I made someone feel... maybe I should address their concerns." - She would focus on the slapping, and say she's scared of me while simultaneously praising the shit out of people who have actually been physically violent to her. She's only a hypocrite to me and it is horrible.

It's fucked up and complicated but there is certainly some strong dislike and she's the person that causes me the most emotional distress with her actions... and I have a violently abusive brother and father.