Talking about the mom here. I don't know on what spectrum you think you are on but it is a very common condition for people with asperger to have what is called mindblindness. It affects you ability to cope with other peoples emotions, your ability to have reason in a more than black or white way and is a very damaging issue toward people involved in close relationships with them aka kids.

Nothing in OP's description of the events screams of entitlement or narcisit behaviors, the only thing that seems to come out is the blatant absence of empathy, inability to cope with other peoples emotions and issues in accepting other peoples point of view.