I'm sorry for the situation that you are in. I have no idea what it must feel like. The decision you make should be for yourself. However, I think her mind games are affecting your mental state. It sounds like it will only get worse if you decide to stay. If you can take the high paying job take it and get a good lawyer.

You should try talking with your parents and your oldest child to try and let them know how this situation is affecting you. I know you're afraid that your children will hate you if you leave, but leaving is your best option for your health. Contact your younger kids when they're older and explain what happened. I'm sure they will understand.

Whether you decide to leave or stay, I would recommend seeing a therapist. I've been seeing my therapist for five years and it's helped me through a lot. Talking through your situation with a professional could ease your mind and help you make the right decision.

Whatever happens I hope you make the decision that you think is right.