Next day update: Woman calls at the same time, is given same response. Reluctantly comes down after I say I'm willing to make her a quick espresso so she can fuck off back to her room and aim her death ray at someone else.
Not before getting completely outraged that I was actually posting the whopping 2,20€ charge to her room while telling me "the other guy didn't charge me - he delivered it to my room AND it was free!" TL;DR this bitch is as delusional as she is unpleasant.
I took y'alls advice on killing her with kindness, though, and threw in as many Have a good days and Enjoy the rest of your stays and Here all week, see you tommorows as I could.
The espresso machine in the restaurant is indeed included WITH BREAKFAST, but à la carte from the bar it is most definitely not free. Don't think I've ever been to ANY hotel where the room price came with all you can drink espresso bar, especially when you're being shitty to the staff while demanding non-existant after-hours room service.
And also, I pride myself in my work and in guest satisfaction. I've been in the hotel industry for eight plus years, including four in management. The only reason I'm on the night shift is because I moved to Europe and am doing all of this in a second language.
If I have an old lady with mobility issues, then sure, I've got no problem running up an extra blanket or a bottle of water or whatever, but 6am is when the daystaff start to arrive and I HAVE to be behind the desk to let them in, not to mention processing the sporadic departing guests and taking whatever phone calls come from either the rooms or the outside lines.
More of the same tomorrow, I'm guessing. Hooray!