Well, okay so..I hate telling my story in simple details because there leaves a lot of room for assumptions. It was an affair. She was married. We worked together and over the period of a year, pretty much without realizing, we fell in love. We fucked up by having it (mostly emotional), and neither of us thought we were that kind of person..but she married fast and settled, and it's a pretty fucked situation when you find yourself in love together. Part of the reason why I don't tell anyone is because they will judge us and say it wasn't "real love", but it was. Past the honey moon phase, we were just perfect matches (her words). Basically, by the end of it we were both so mentally fucked and I was in absolutely no position to help support her or her kids (she's jobless and trying to get a degree). We were in no contact for awhile and her husband found everything out in the summer (he probably knew a little bit though), and since then there is a peace bond between us, which means I can't legally contact her.

So yeah haha. It sucks, but this is why I say we need time and she has to come to me. We need time apart to heal and move on, she needs time to figure out her own life and I have no idea what she will do, and I can't legally contact her until the summer. They were moving when he found out, and they moved to a different province. I'm in a much better place and finishing school. I have no idea if I will contact her in the summer because I have no idea if she will want it. If she's sticking to her marriage for her kids, which is what she was doing, then it will be very hard to hear from me and I don't want to do that to her. I don't want to worry about it now anyway.

I understand if you judge us, but it's just a very complicated situation and right now we're both just trying to pick up the pieces for what happened. And really, I have no idea if she ever wants to reconcile with me. But I also don't want to worry about or try to predict the future. I'm in a better place now and if someday she finds the courage to leave her husband, I'm ready whenever, but I'm not going to dwell on it.