"Closing time! Balderdash!" the hooded man, Vlad, screamed through his tears.

He had to find the female. The plump, blonde morsel had got him properly drunk after only a sip from her wrist. Then wriggled free and disappeared! The insult was too much.

"Where in the sam hill is she?" the hooded man rested his head on the counter, weeping bloody tears in fury.

He knew the humans shouldn't see him like this. His master would be after him if someone discovered him. But his master had kicked him out, didn't he? And left him to fend for himself in this century with the name Vlad, at that. He owed the rogue nothing! What century was it, now, anyhow?

"Did you mayhaps see my biddy, barkeep?" he slurred at the man wiping the counter, shaking his head free of the hood to see better.

The barman tried not to stare at the man's bloody eyes, the waxy skin. He got all sorts here. Never ask them questions at 3AM, he told himself firmly. You'd never get them to leave. No-one was that interesting.

"There's a MacDonald's around the corner, pal," he grunted. "Get going, now."

"Don't sell me a dog, man, you know where she is!" the man screamed, clutching his arm. "Tell me!"

"Are you ok? the barman asked despite himself, as the blood began pouring freely from the man's eyes.

"Skilamalink," the man muttered in reply, then sank his fangs into the barman's arm.

Vlad wept furiously after the man was drained. The entire dank establishment was deserted. No-one had even seen him or confronted him. That usually ended so nicely in more blood.

"Oh, Vladimir," he heard an ancient voice sigh behind him. "It's 2015, not 1875. You can't just drink the local bar dry anymore and get away with it."

His master regarded him sternly, but smiled all the same. Augustus was a short vampire, with ashy blonde hair swept away from his temples, his eyes a murky red. Vlad curled his lip and spat blood at the man.

"Leave me, fiend!" Vlad hissed, shoving Gus roughly in the chest. "You named me poorly for this century and abandoned me! Well, I'm fine!"

He slipped back to the easy words of this century as the blood cleared from his head. His master's presence always did that to him, for some reason. The guy was no fun to be around.

"I never abandoned you, fool," Gus snapped, glancing disdainfully at the bloody spit on the floor, which had fallen short of its target.

"You ran away when I left you alone in a club for one night! Do you remember that lesson? Getting acquainted with the 21st century?

"Coping splendidly on your own, I see," he continued, wrinkling his nose as he inspected the dead barkeeper. "And you named yourself Vlad! Five years ago! Does any of this ring a bell? Your 'going back to your roots' phase? Oh, I knew this would happen. A vampire with a blood intoxication problem should never be alone. What am I going to do with you, Vlad?"

"Oh, master," Vlad moaned, collapsing against Gus's chest and sobbing wretchedly. "My biddy is gone!"

"Yes, alright, Vlad," Gus sighed as he led the younger vampire out the door. "Let's get you home. I have fresh O positive humans, your favourite. Wouldn't that be nice?"

"Splendid, splendid," Vlad muttered, as they made their way into the night.