The room was decorated nicely, the couch cushions had cheerful patterns, but you could feel the cold sterility of the facility seeping through the veneer. No matter what shade of cream you slapped on the walls, you could never mask the mechanical hum or soulless honk of royalty-free waiting room saxophone solos.
The nurse drummed her pen rapidly and anxiously against her mousepad, her strained visage contorting beneath thick-rimmed glasses.
"Carol," I said, with a smile.
The drumming stopped and Cynthia cocked her head towards me.
"You can always ask," I said blushing.
"I never think of it.. But I could get used to having you around!" CYnthia smiled as she glanced at the clock. "Have you met her?" She asked.
"No" I said quietly.
The door opened and a slim woman walked in. She was tall and blonde, wearing a soft pink and yellow sundress. She was beautiful, and always had been. She shuffled to the couch adjacent mine, and nodded politely as I pretended to peruse the magazine for tips on controlling my blood pressure.
"Hello Carol!" Cynthia said brightly.
"Hello Cynthia."
Carol was nervous and fidgeted in her chair as Cynthia scribbled on a notepad.
I sat up and stared intensely, unseeing at the magazine as a barrage of memories fluttered in the air. Looking at Carol, I saw her face knotted as she stared at her hands.
"You don't have to be nervous...or think too hard" I said reassuringly.
She jolted upright and looked at me before appealing to Cynthia. Cynthia dropped her pad and came around her desk, wrapping an arm reassuringly around Carols confusion.
"Carol... This is what I wanted to discuss with you."
"I'll go for a walk" I said quietly.
When I returned Carol peered at me curiously and I struggled to hold her gaze. Her reticent eyes searched mine for reassurance. All I could do was smile unsuredly.
We walked down the hall, and I was able to pinpoint the buzz to a particularly nefarious fluorescent light just beyond the lobby. Cynthia stopped and pulled Carol from her thoughts. She knocked lightly, and let Carol and I into an apartment with the shades open but the lights off. The industrious indifference of the lobby melted away immediately, and I felt as though I was in a deeply private space.
"Did you change the furniture?"
"Yes, it is from his original study back home." She nodded towards the man in the large leather chair in the corner in acknowledgment. He snored peacefully.
Carol walked over to the couch beside him and placed a hand on his arm. She squeezed gently as I placed myself in the rocking chair across from her. The coffee table was a deep wood grain, and there were weathered books strewn across it, though their perfect positioning betrayed their place now as props. There were pictures on the shelves behind the man, and immediately Carol's eyes, unchanged but no longer fighting from behind dulled skin, leapt from a frame. Behind her youthful smile was a wide-shouldered, bearded man with a confident smile and a pipe in his left hand, which was curled around her waist.
He stirred and I looked at the two of them.
"Hello dear," she said, pleadingly.
He looked at her for a long moment.
"Hello.." he said, timidly. I Did not speak, yet.
"How are you?"
The man looked at her blankly, and I was immediately put to work.
"It can be a bit disorganized, but I will tell you what he's getting glimpses of."
She just looked at me, mouth agape.
"You have children..Roy and Michael." She nodded "He sees you in a store, with.. Your mother? You look beautiful..." I smiled embarrassed. She did not move.
"It's quite a bit... But you are on a boat... The boat's named for you! It's perfect weather, but the memory is all of you... Everything else is just.. He's not focused on it. ". I looked at Carol as the blue shone through a layer of tears.
I walked into the lobby and grabbed my coat.
"Thanks Cynthia... I will see you soon."
"Does it help him?" She asked.
I sighed. "I can't help him... But at this point he doesn't need it."
She cocked her head again, as she always did.
"IT's not for him Cynthia..."