I'm going to leave blame out of this one, others have it covered.

It seems like you're panicking because you feel like you're in limbo, like you're flailing in the wind because you don't know what comes next.

But, dude? It time to be okay flailing.

You've done right the actions, now stay consistent with them. If you want to be dedicated to this marriage, do it. Show her. Make the decision on your own to be there how she needs to until he calls it for good. Putting it all on her is how you got here in the first place.

Will it hurt more if you're fully committed and she pulls the plug? Yes. But that's the risk you take when you're properly participating in a relationship.

Good luck and get your own individual therapist if you haven't yet.